Teaching Manners in a Mannerless WorldWith manners in U.S. society at what some consider a

Teaching Manners in a Mannerless World

With manners in U.S. society at what some consider an all-time low, author and psychologist Dr. Alex J. Packer has written a humorous etiquette guide for teenagers that offers real-life lessons and explains the value of manners, including classroom etiquette commandments for students and teachers. Dr. Packer graciously took time to talk with Education World about his book, and why teachers and other adults need to discuss and model good manners.

Education World: What prompted you to write this book？

Dr. Alex Packer: I was inspired to write How Rude! by countless ill-mannered, oblivious (遗忘的), self-centered adults who reminded me on a daily basis that we don't need another generation like that. And on those rare occasions during the writing process when motivation flagged, I just went for a walk so that I could be run over by a skateboarder, elbowed off a sidewalk, or snarled at by a sales clerk.

Up until How Rude! etiquette books for teenagers were, in my opinion, preachy (受唠叨 ), condescending(谦逊的), and rather removed from the real lives of young people. It almost seemed as if the people writing them didn't like kids! These books told you how to curtsy if you met the Queen, but not how to survive in the lunchroom or the locker room. Since adults had dropped the ball in teaching manners, I decided to Write a book for teens that would provide helpful, relevant advice, and be fun, funny, and interesting to read.

EW: How would: you assess the current climate in society regarding manners and etiquette？

Dr. Packer: Society is experiencing a manners meltdown. We see this on the macro(巨大的) level, where our own government behaves like the school bully, running roughshod over the rights, privacy, and property of others. We see it in reality television, where humiliation is served up as entertainment. And we see it on a daily basis in our own lives with basic courtesies becoming an extinct species. Nonetheless, I think it's important to recognize that many teens have beautiful manners and are responsible and respectful.

EW: What are some of the best ways to convince teenagers of the value of good manners？

Dr. Packer: Teens need to recognize that the values underlying good manners -respect, consideration, empathy(执著)--are important in and of themselves. Good manners are the first line of defense against daily irritations, conflict, and even violence. Behaving responsibly, acting with kindness, and caring about others is the moral and ethical high road. While teens should be polite because it's the "fight" way to live, there's nothing wrong with acknowledging that good manners are good for them!

Good manners are impressive, attractive, and increasingly hard to find. Teens with good manners come out on top. Well-behaved kids stand out in a crowd, and are more likely to get what they want out of life. The polite bird gets the worm, and kids with savoir-faire (处世能力) know how to make others feel good. And people who feel good are more likely to give you a job, agree to your requests, and enjoy your company. Knowing how to act in all kinds of situations breeds confidence, which helps to keep you cool, calm, and collected in the face of stressful events and interactions.

A good example of the beneficial nature of good manners would be writing thank-you notes. One reason teens have such a hard time doing this is because they start out with the wrong attitude. They think of it as a chore rather than an opportunity. Enthusiastic words of appreciation not only convey proper gratitude, but increase the likelihood that the person who gave you this present will give you another one!

EW: How can teachers use this book in their classrooms？

Dr. Packer: The ways in which How .Rude I can be used in the classroom are virtually limitless. Since

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